There are many ways in which to use paper bags to make ourselves famous. One way
is to walk around with a paper bag over your head all day with only one hole cut
in it for your eyes. Another is to wear an outfit made entirely out of paper
bags. (Once I got a lot of attention by taping together a bunch of Smarties
wrappers and making a dress, but that’s for another time.) If you fly an
airplane made out of a paper bag, you are certain to call attention to yourself,
and probably be interviewed as the first person to ever fly a paper bag.
There are more creative ways as well. You could create a life-sized model of
Godzilla out of paper bags. Or you could make the world’s largest paper bag and
live in it for a year. If you made enough, you could solve the problems that
having no paper bags would cause, as paper bags have no roof to collapse on you.
You could become infamous, too. If you kidnapped enough people by tying them up
in paper bags, you could be called the “paper-bag kidnapper.” Or if you snuck
into a bank disguised as a paper bag, you could hide until closing time or
pretend to be some teenager delivering the bank manager’s pizza so you could
steal a ton of money. (You never know what these kids will wear these days.)
Finally, you might consider making fashions from paper bags. Paper bag jeans
with matching purses are sure to go over well with the teenagers, and little
girls will adore paper dresses.
Whatever you style, paper bags are an almost sure way to arise to fame and
glory!
THE END
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