How Paper Bags Can Make Us Famous
By Allison

There are many ways in which to use paper bags to make ourselves famous. One way is to walk around with a paper bag over your head all day with only one hole cut in it for your eyes. Another is to wear an outfit made entirely out of paper bags. (Once I got a lot of attention by taping together a bunch of Smarties wrappers and making a dress, but that’s for another time.) If you fly an airplane made out of a paper bag, you are certain to call attention to yourself, and probably be interviewed as the first person to ever fly a paper bag.

There are more creative ways as well. You could create a life-sized model of Godzilla out of paper bags. Or you could make the world’s largest paper bag and live in it for a year. If you made enough, you could solve the problems that having no paper bags would cause, as paper bags have no roof to collapse on you.

You could become infamous, too. If you kidnapped enough people by tying them up in paper bags, you could be called the “paper-bag kidnapper.” Or if you snuck into a bank disguised as a paper bag, you could hide until closing time or pretend to be some teenager delivering the bank manager’s pizza so you could steal a ton of money. (You never know what these kids will wear these days.)

Finally, you might consider making fashions from paper bags. Paper bag jeans with matching purses are sure to go over well with the teenagers, and little girls will adore paper dresses.

Whatever you style, paper bags are an almost sure way to arise to fame and glory!


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